When the place you wanted most says no

At university, my dream school turned me down. I had built my plans around it.

Six months later, I had a better opportunity, and I would not have been free to take it if the first door had opened.

Keep the goal, change the route

A rejection feels like it's about you. Mostly, it's about one route to a goal, and the goal is usually still there.

When a door closes, the time and energy you had set aside for it are suddenly free. That's what makes the next opportunity possible, if you're looking for it.

So what does this mean in practice?

Name the goal behind the door. You didn't want the school or the job for itself. Write down what it would have given you.

List three other routes to it. There are almost always more than you think, and some are faster.

Ask for the reason, once. If you get a real answer, use it. If you don't, move on.

Giving myself a few days to be disappointed, then writing down every other route I could take. Talking to people who had taken a different path helped more than any advice.

A closed door frees you for the next one.